This blog is dedicated to a special person in my life, and I hope she finds some wisdom in these words.

I’d like to share a strategy that can be helpful during panic attacks or intense anxiety—especially when the cause isn’t clear, or when the anxiety stems from internal conflict. For example: “I really hate going to college and don’t want to do it, but I can’t quit because I’d disappoint my parents.” This approach is particularly effective in those kinds of scenarios. However, it’s not meant for situations involving real external threats, such as someone actively threatening you or a partner leaving you.

Why this approach works:

There’s an incredible book by Gabor Maté called When the Body Says No. The core premise is that when we force ourselves to do things that go against our well-being, our bodies eventually push back—sometimes in dramatic ways like developing autoimmune conditions or even cancer. Dr. Maté backs this with substantial medical research.

I suggest that a panic attack can be understood as a similar response—a moment when your body is saying “No” to something it’s being forced to do, often by you. Even if we can consciously push ourselves through things, the body keeps the score (as another book title reminds us). It holds onto the tension, pain, and scars. It tries to communicate with us through physical sensations—like anxiety or tightness.

If we ignore those signals, the body may turn up the volume—leading to a full-blown panic attack.

The Strategy: Talk To Your Body

When you feel anxiety rising or a panic attack starting, speak back to your body.

Recognize that the body is speaking to you through body sensations — and begin to speak back. Begin a two-way conversation.

You don’t need to fix everything in the moment—you just need to acknowledge and listen.

Try saying:

• “My dear body, thank you for letting me know that this doesn’t feel good. I hear you. You’re trying to tell me that something isn’t working.”
• If you know what your body is reacting to: “I understand this is scary or overwhelming for you, and I’m taking it seriously. I will figure out how to address this and take care of you.”
• If you don’t yet know what’s wrong: “I’m not sure yet why you’re feeling so overwhelmed or scared, but I’m listening. I will figure it out and take care of you.”

You may feel anxiety to begin to subside or a wave of calm begin to wash over you—try it. There’s no harm in doing so.

And then—this part is key—follow through. After the panic subsides, take steps to explore and address whatever is distressing your body. That might mean journaling, engaging in bibliotherapy (healing through reading), or speaking with a therapist. Your body needs to know that its signals are taken seriously. If you speak these words to your body but don’t follow through, it will keep amplifying the message—until you take it seriously.”

Let the outdated phrase “mind over body” become a relic. Instead, embrace the idea of an embodied mind—where mind and body work in collaboration.

I am here to help you thrive in every relationship – starting with yourself.  
Viktoria